Gurdonark's Bad Poetry (gurdonpoems) wrote,
Gurdonark's Bad Poetry
gurdonpoems

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81. The Feeder Guppy Rescue League Song



I went down to the pet store
with a dollar in my jeans
I needed fish to be my friends
my tank was nice and clean

I saw some guppies dance and play
and shake their tails a while
My girlfriend at the commune
never gave me such a smile

No sooner was I laughing
than much to my surprise
They fed some guppies to an oscar
right there before my eyes

Let's rescue feeder guppies
fins in solidarity
we buyin' up the feeders
and we're gonna set them free!

The Feeder Guppy Rescue League
saves guppies all the time
Guppies are too beautiful
eating them's a crime

I couldn't believe what
I was seeing,
as the oscar gulped some more
He ate those guppies,
with tie dye tails
my gills were red and sore

Those feeder guppies are there to rescue
So put your fins on at the door
and start a marchin'
set guppies free some more

The Feeder Guppy Rescue League now
saves guppies by the score.
So set your tanks up,
get your cash out--
let's go save some more.

Now I eat burgers, sausage pizza and chicken mandarin
so I'm aware that I'm just as guilty of a sin,
but I wave signs outside the pet store,
'cause feeders need to swim.

Those feeder guppies
they did no wrong now
they're just bright and fun and free
but in the pet store there in broad daylight
they use them as sushi

Those feeder guppies are there to rescue
So put your fins on at the door
and start a marchin'
cause no guppies ever should get eaten any more
The Feeder Guppy Rescue League now
saves guppies by the score.

We've got a league now, and next a union
and our movement will always grow
The Feeder Guppy Rescue League
finds the guppies homes to go.

I took my dollar, and bought a dozen
Won't you buy some guppies, too?
Cause a fishtank ain't a stewpot
and the guppies ain't fondue.

Those feeder guppies are there to rescue
So put your fins on at the door
and start a marchin'
no guppies Should get eaten any more
The Feeder Guppy Rescue League now
is saving guppies by the score.

They took me from the pet store
in a great big minnow net
They think I'll give up guppy savin'
but I ain't finished yet.

Now guppies like big families
Yeah, we all know that's true,
I've got a million guppies now,
but what I am to do?

The Feeder Guppy Rescue League
saves guppies by the score
so swim for free love, vegan fish,
and guppies forevermore.

Note

I decided it would be fun to record this song, sung a capella, and post it for review at garageband.com. I was particularly pleased because for the first time I was able to figure out the multi-track recording studio program I have installed on my computer. I was particularly displeased, though, when the fact that my microphone had insufficient output makes the song come out on some folks' sound cards as barely audible. I learned the meaning of the term "mic pre-amp", which will no doubt be something that will serve me in good stead in the future.

The review process at garageband.com is fun, but those coming to the "comedy" review section hoping to hear the obvious off-color banality seem somewhat unprepared for the feeder guppy cause. But someone made it worthwhile last night, by seeking me out by IM, and thanking me for the song.

If you'd like to hear what this bit of doggerel sounds like when sung, click here and prepare to turn your speakers way up:


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